With the killing of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the United States has issued a terror threat warning to Americans traveling to China. According to Reuters News: "The United States warned on Friday of a possible terrorist threat against its interests in China, especially in the three major cities of Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou."
While I believe that we should be aware of our surroundings while we travel through China, I will not allow my family to succumb to this fear mongering. Our United States Government has come up with the "Terror Threat Level" chart to help us understand the severity of any threat to the United States.
Lets talk about the terror threat levels. I think it would be best if we look at the chart that was provided to us by our children's favorite show, next to Sponge Bob Square Pants, Dora the Adventurer or even Bob the Builder. That's right, the Sesame Street version of the terror threat levels.
We all know that the day is coming when the streets of America will be flooded with furry puppets making us do their bidding. After years of pulling their strings, and I know about pulling strings (our purse strings), they've had enough. It's time for them to start pulling our strings.
So our Government, in their infamous wisdom, came up with the threat levels, so let me explain them:
The Green or Oscar Level: This level is when there is Utopia on the the planet. There is no threat to any one and people tend to stay out of everyone else's business. Life is good at this level, every child has their forever family and Gotcha Days are happening all the time. There is peace on Earth, the grass is always green. The Sky is always Blue. There is always food in the refrigerator. It's our happy place....It's a great place....to fantasize about!! Don't you people know that this will NEVER happen. Utopia is a fictional place! People... don't get attached to it!!
The Blue or Cookie Monster Level: This is a slightly elevated level over the Green (Oscar Level). In this level, everyone is getting along fairly nicely. Our cute little children are playing together in the park and there are no worries of us running out of Cookies. MMMMMMMMM.....COOKIES (in Homer Simpson Voice). I like cookies, especially when he crumbs fall on my shirt. It's like having a snack waiting for you later. Cookies are good when you dip them in Ice Cold Milk. It make it easier for them to go down and then you can eat more. Ooops, once again I went of subject. But I find it easy to talk about myself and my family and the cookies we eat...MMM, COOKIES.
Sorry about that. We are going to combine the Yellow and Orange categories. We all know that Bert and Ernie can never be separated. Where you find one you will always find another. Just like me and food. Where there is food, there is me. Just like where there is a Banana, there's a Banana split. Or where there is Ice Cream, there is a Root Beer Float. Or where there is a cow, there is steaks. Or where there is chicken, there are chicken wings. I love chicken wings. Bert and Ernie are like Chicken Wings to Ranch dipping dressing. You dip that hot deep fried wing into that cold rich dressing and its like you've gone to heaven. Anyway, back on subject. It seems I can not stay on subject or get to the point of this blog, so let me try...
RED or ELMO LEVEL: This is the most dangerous level. This level is where the whole world is taken over by little furry red creature that talks like Yoda on Helium. We are talking Armagedon here. Brim stone, fire, Howie Mandel as President. Picture it, Howie having peace talks with Iran: Deal Or No Deal. UGH OOH, Elmo fall down. After eating the banana split, the Root Beer Float, the steak, the chicken wings with the ranch dipping sauce, and the cookies, if I fell down, I would be able to get back up. I would teeter totter there on the floor until the fork lift came and picked me up and put me back on my feet. That would definitely be a red day in my book.
Please people, be vigilant, but don't let the world scare you.
Happy Threat Level Watching.
1 comment:
You are too funny!!!
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