And anyone who tells you it is, is full of (insert your own word here). Now, before all of you out there in blogland get bent out of shape, let me explain. Saffi has come a VERY long way since Shelby first laid eyes on her about a month ago in Nanchang. At first, Saffi was very difficult to handle and would act out, violently, when Shelby tried to discipline her. When they got home, it didn't get any better and we thought to ourselves, "What the hell did we get ourselves into." She was testing boundaries in a big way. For instance, I would ask her to not touch the computer, then she would touch it anyway. When I would tell her to stop, she would sit in the middle of the room and start wailing for 'Ma Ma.' If we tried to comfort her, she would push us away, start kicking us, start trying to bite us and start hitting us. This is the side of adoption many people leave out. Eventually, she would settle down and begin to play again.
We started Saffi in Elementary School last week. Things were going great for the first couple of days. She seemed to like her teacher and the other students in her class. She also liked the work that the English as a Second Language teacher was giving her. Then came last Friday and meltdown city. When we brought her to school, she refused to go into the building with me, but she had no problem going into the school with Shelby. BUT, once the teacher's aide came to pick her up for class,the fight was on. Teachers told us to leave and that she would be okay. That was at 8:45 am. at 10:00am, we got our first phone call that Saffi was throwing toys at other students and trying to bite the school counsilor and teacher's aide, all while screaming, yes screaming, that she wanted to go home. We, along with the teachers agreed that going home was not an option because we do not want to give into her tantrums so that in the future she will think that if she tantrums, she will get what she wants. At 1:30, we received a second phone call saying that she calmed down and was back in the classroom for 1/2 hour, but flipped out when she was told to go to the cafeteria for lunch. So back to the Principles office she went. She ended up there for the rest of the day all the while she was kicking, screaming, hitting and biting the Principle, teacher's aide and counselor. It was so bad, the school told us that if she isn't better on Monday, we would have to look at a modified schedule until she can get used to the school.
Luckily, over the weekend, an alien ship came from outer space and took away the bad Saffi and gave us a good Saffi. For the most part, this week has been uneventful. She has only thrown one tantrum at home and has been an angel at school Thank heaven for little girls. The boys love playing with her and she loves chasing the boys around the house. We started her in Horseback riding two weeks ago, her second ride is this Friday. Hopefully she will like it this time as much as last time.
Here is a really good picture of all three kids playing together.
This past weekend, we went on a Santa Train in West Chester, PA. It was a lot of fun, but unfortunately, the kids didn't know what think of Santa. But they all had a great time riding the train and singing Christmas Carols.
BTW-It was around 20 degrees with a wind chill of 5 degrees. A very, very cold day.
6 comments:
Wow - love the honesty! We too had the crazy tantrums with Max - whoa! There were times when we looked at each other and did not know if we should laugh or cry. Been there, done that - hang in there!
So glad your honest! Won't get any flack from our direction; even though we have yet to do it.....
When I read the blogs that don't share the hard stuff, it always makes me wonder, you know?
You guys are doing the best you can.
I have all the confidence in the world in you.
Love Saffi's hat! I just bought one like that in blue for Taylor!
No bending from me! That sounds about like what we're preparing for. Stay strong, House of S! Your love, tender yet firm, will prevail!
I appreciate your honesty! I know I will have challenges ahead and openness about the realities means a lot to those of us beginning our families.
Cute pic of the kiddos. The boys seem to have grown so quickly each time I see a photo of them.
Hi! I am sorry about your transition difficulties and admire your strength in continuing to hold your position as the ones who call the shots. I think of you guys often and was happy to see your update. I don't know if I have sent this link to you, but I know that Dr. Cogan is well respected and she does do phone consultations. It might be worth a call if just to have your current approach validated. Hang in there and glad to see the kids are getting to know each other and doing well together.
http://www.pattycogenparenting.info/bio.html
Michelle (from Zymo)
We are in the same boat with our 5 year old adopted daughter who came home to us this past year. I am so exhausted by the time that night rolls around that I feel like I am 90 years old! It just wears you out. Things are getting better...slowly...but it's one week of good behavior...then another of bad...and so on. Any day the teacher doesn't call me is a great day! :) Hang in there...and know that you are not alone!
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